Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
