she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
