It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
