I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
