i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
