apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
