I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
