I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
