so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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