We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
