Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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