you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
