I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize