somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
