My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
