Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
just tell him i said nine months
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize
