i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
