i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
