watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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