You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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