I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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