I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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