Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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