His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
