it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
