what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize