the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Non-Jews are for practice
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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