trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
