Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
