wake up i wanna do it froggy style
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
