I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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