I have demons in me.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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