Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
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