i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
