we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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