The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
