A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
