I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
