How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
