I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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