Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
