I think my vagina is haunted
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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