Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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