You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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