oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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