There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
