im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
