Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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