ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
