I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
