Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize