but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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