cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
