Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
lets start a swedish sibling band together
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
