This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
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