remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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