At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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