Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
