I think my fart just growled at me.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
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First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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