i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
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then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
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he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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